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"I repeat... Drop the wand and put your hands above your head! This is your last warning!" exclaim Sate troopers from their amphibcopter in a confrontation with an out of control submerged metaphorical artifact. This is one of many recent episodes resulting from a crackdown on excessive sentimentality and deific fairy tale archetypes in submerged cinematic environments. In defense of the policies an anonymous baton swinging stereotype explained "We're trying to put an end to all this unnecessary emotion and pondering of analogous subtext and underlying themes and get back to basics. So move it along folks... show's over... there's nothing to see here."
Monica ponders a hard decision; 'Oh... How will I ever be able to do this? ... Just pack him in the car and... and... drive out there... and... and leave him?... Or should I pick up the groceries first, since it's on the way? No, no. Shop first then drop by the salon then pick up Martin and then... no, that's obviously not gonna work. Hmmmmm... Shop first, then drop off David, then the salon and then Martin. Avoid that rush hour traffic…Yeah, that's the best way.'

"Before we get started just let me explain something to you, little mister scene-stealer... I've talked to Whoopi, Helen and Gerard and I’ve heard all about it. But my name is Hurt... as in William Hurt. That name means something now and it's gonna mean something when we're finished this scene. I hope I've made myself clear!"

Haley Joel Osment didn’t attend the Academy Awards proceedings this year… but he was watching. (Hey kid, I thought they were funny too.)



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